Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke Harry: "I've just discovered oil."
Harriet: "Oh, how wonderful, now we can afford a new car! Now, where did you find it?"
Harry: "Leaking from our old car."
I just phoned the Police, because someone broke into my home and released thousands of house flies in it...
They're sending out the swat team!
Little Johnny's mother was baking cookies one day. As she began to put a new batch in the oven, she suddenly noticed Johnny staring at the already baked cookies lying on the table.
"Johnny," she said. "Are you trying to take a cookie?"
"No," Johnny replied. "I'm trying not to."
Marge was in bed with a man (not her husband). All of a sudden, they heard a noise downstairs. "Oh, my gosh, your husband is home! What am I going to do?"
"Just stay in bed with me. He's probably so drunk, he won't notice you here with me." The fear of getting caught trying to escape was more powerful than the thought of getting caught in bed with Marge, so he trusted her advice. Sure enough, Marge's husband came crawling into bed and as he pulled the covers over him, he pulled the blankets, exposing six feet.
"Honey!" he yelled. "What the heck is going on? I see six feet at the end of the bed!"
"Dear, you're so drunk, you can't count. If you don't believe me, count them again."
The husband got out of bed, and counted. "One, two, three, four… By gosh, you're right, dear!"
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