A criminal has an idea for a business. To execute the crooked plan he hires a partner. He explains everything, “First, you secretly flatten people’s car tires. Then, offer our tire changing service through an advertisement. Got it?”
A few weeks later, after getting no customers, the cops show up at their tire changing garage, placing them under arrest due to suspicious advertising. On the way to jail, the criminal who thought up the plan asks the partner about the advertisement.
“Well, I had a great idea. I realized we could save ourselves a lot of time by stabbing our flyer directly into the tire.”
One morning at a small-town newspaper office, one of the editors was struggling to write a headline for the obituary of a woman who was noted for little besides a fondness for crossword puzzles.
"What am I supposed to write?" the editor whined. "She liked puzzles?"
Just then one of our copy editors piped up, "How about, 'Crossword fan is now six down.'?"
Did you hear about the big power outage last week that hit New York City’s Theater District ?
It was a real show stopper!
A lady was taking her first golf lesson. She asked the instructor, "Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?"
"P-u-t-t is correct," he replied. "P-u-t means to place something where you want it. P-u-t-t means, merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."