Latest Jokes

I went to the home improvement store to buy some paint. I saw the Behr brand. It had a picture of a bear on the label. I’m not sure what “B-e-h-r" is supposed to spell but it isn’t bear.

I wasn’t going to buy a brand that doesn’t know there’s a difference in spellings.

I went with Sherwin Williams because it was clear with their brand name it would be a sher-win for me!

How are men like noodles?

They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

What's the difference between a duck and George Washington?

One has a bill on their face and the other has their face on a bill.

Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's annoyance.

"Teddy," he called, "how many more times do I have I to tell you to come downstairs quietly? Now, go back upstairs and come down like a civilized human being."

There was a silence, and Teddy reappeared in the front room.

"That's better," said his father. "Now in the future you will always come downstairs like that."

"OK," said Teddy cheerily. "I slid down the railing!"