A guy brings a dog to a bar and says he’s the smartest dog in the world.
Guy asks him: Name a character from West Side Story?
Dog: Riff Riff!
Guy asks him: What covers a building or a house?
Dog: Roof Roof!
Guy asks him: Who’s the best baseball player ever?
Dog: Ruth Ruth!
Bartender kicks them both out of the bar.
Dog: What went wrong? Should I have said Cy Young?
You know what really makes me sick?
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.
Why do Pirate's bury treasure?
Because banks won't deal with people who are better at stealing than they are.