Now that I am a senior (citizen, that is) I have everything that I ever wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later.

- I don't have to go to school or work.
- I get an allowance every month.
- I have my own pad.
- I don't have a curfew.
- I have a driver's license and my own car.
- I have ID that gets me into bars and the liquor store.
- The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.
- And I don't have acne.