Latest Jokes

Me: I'm very sorry, but my dog ate my homework.

Computer Science Professor: Your dog ate your coding assignment?

Me: ...

Prof: ...

Me: Well, it took him a couple bytes.

Node: Was aware of (past tense of Know)
Outpatient: Fainted
Pap smear: Fatherhood test
Pelvis: Cousin of Elvis
Prostate: Flat on your back
Protein: Favoring young people
Rectum: Dang near killed 'em
Seizure: Roman Emperor
Serology: Study of Knighthood
Tumor: An extra pair
Urine: Opposite of "you're out"
Varicose: Located near by

A local laboratory employed a licensed boat captain to man its research vessel. Reportedly, the captain couldn't swim. A newcomer, learning of this, approached him about it.

"Is it true?" the newcomer asked incredulously. "You, a boat captain, can't swim?"

"No I can't," the captain replied. "Can pilots fly?"