A teenage girl had just been given family-car privileges. One Friday night she returned home very late from a party.
The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30 am the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, "What time did you get in last night?"
"Not too late, Dad," she replied nervously.
Dead-panned, her father said, "Then I'll have to talk to the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car."
A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.
After the trial he asked the judge, "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?"
The judge said that was true.
"Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked.
The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.
The man turned and looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson."