Latest Jokes

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One day a man walked into a barbershop wearing headphones. ”Give me a trim,” he said to the barber, “but don’t take off my headphones off or I’ll die.”

As the barber began to cut the man’s hair, he realized the headphones were in the way and took them off. A few moments later, the man slumped to the floor dead.

Picking up the headphones, the barber put them to his ear and heard a voice saying, “Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...”

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CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
$8.00 won 5 votes

Little Johnny walked into his classroom with a fried egg on his head.

The teacher asked, "Why do you have a fried egg on your head?"

Little Johnny responded, "Because a hard boiled egg rolls off."

5 votes

posted by "barber7796" |
$7.00 won 7 votes

A secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you."

"Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once."

"Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not sterile."

7 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
posted by "Tristan Cook" |
1 votes

“Your Honor,” said the smartest lawyer in the world, “my client is not guilty. He merely inserted his arm into a window and stole some jewelry. His arm is not himself. I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by one arm.”

“I agree,” nodded the judge. “I hereby sentence the defendant’s arm to one year in prison. He may accompany the arm or not.”

“Thank you, Your Honor,” said the defendant as he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

1 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |