My wife drew a stick figure of her and I on my breakfast napkin.
She then wrote "I love you" on it.
Guys, whatever you do, if you receive a sweet sentiment like this don't tape it to the fridge!
Two people walk into a gas station.
The first one says, "These prices are awful. They just keep going higher!"
The second replies, "It doesn't affect me at all. I always put in just $20 worth."
What is ambition?
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
A lettuce and a tomato were in a race.
The lettuce went a head, but the tomato never could ketchup.