Latest Jokes

A man on his deathbed is telling his friend his final wishes.

Man: "I have two final wishes."

Friend: "What are they?"

Man: "First, I'd like my remains scattered over Disney Land."

Friend: "And second?"

Man: "Second, I don't want to be cremated."

"Now this is the verbal part of your employment test," said the interviewer. "Can you tell me what gross aggrandized annuity means?"

"Certainly," replied the applicant. "It means I don't get the job."

A boy named Carol had a particularly rough childhood because of his uncommon name. He always got a lot of teasing and abuse at school. Eventually, he overcame his hang-up and married his high-school sweetheart.

When their first child was born, he let his wife name her. She named the baby girl “Love” inspired in the same spirit as Carol’s unique name. Unfortunately, Love grew up and endured much of the same teasing that Carol did, because of her strange name.

She came home from school one day and screamed at her dad, asking why he gave her such a stupid name. Carol took the blame to protect his wife and apologized. In a fit of rage, Love shot him with her dart gun and ran away. Minutes later, Carol’s wife came home and saw him lying on the ground.

“What happened?!” she asked, running to him.

He waved her closer, and whispered, “Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. Darling, you gave Love a bad name!”