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Favorite this joke An attorney called the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him urgently. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.
"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor.
"Judge Jones has just died," said the attorney, "and I want to take his place."
The governor replied, "Well, it's okay with me if it's okay with the undertaker."
What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?
A sourpuss.
To the person who stole my glasses...
I will find you, I have contacts!
An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times. The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter.
The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols. The mystic chose the thermos bottle.
"Why a thermos bottle?" the others asked.
"Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer."
"Yes -- so what?"
"Think about it," said the mystic reverently. "That little bottle -- how does it know?"
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