Latest Jokes

My buddy applied for a job as an insurance salesman. Where the form requested "prior experience" he wrote "lifeguard." That was it. Nothing else.

"We're looking for someone who can not only sell insurance, but who can sell himself as well," said the hiring manager. "How does working as a lifeguard pertain to salesmanship?"

My friend replied, "I couldn't swim."

He got the job.

"How about two of them?" asked the pharmacist to the man who was buying a toothbrush. "One for your wife?"

"No, thanks. When I buy a new one, I always give her the old one."

He paused while several other curstomers in the store gasped, and then he added, "She uses it to clean her shoes."

A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.

"Great idea!" the chicken cried. "Let's offer them ham and eggs!"

"Not so fast," said the pig. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment!"

What do you call a dog that won’t come when you call it, refuses to sleep in it’s bed, and seldom wants to play?

A cat.