Your mama's teeth are so rotten...
When she smiles... it looks like dice!
Two lazy-bones are fast asleep. A thief comes in, pulls the blanket from the bed, and makes off with it. One of them is aware of what happened and says to the other, "Get up! Go after the guy who stole our blanket!"
The other responds, "Forget it. When he comes back to take the mattress, let's grab him then."
A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!"
"Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier. "We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank."
"Well, okay, I understand," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like to know that you gave me an extra twenty. Bye!"
Jim bought a computer, even though he had never even used a typewriter before. After investigating the computer, he decided to call the help line. A friendly voice explained step by step how his new machine worked. All went well until the voice told him to press the space bar. After studying the keyboard, Jim said, "I've got the latest model and it doesn't have a space bar."
But after further explanation, he managed to find it. A week later, Jim again had problems and called the help line. An instructor was then sent to his house for training. But after a few minutes, Jim's head was spinning. "You don't need to go any further," he sighed, "I don't understand a thing."
To cheer him up, the instructor said, "Hey, there are people who understand a lot less than you. Last week we had someone on the phone who didn't even know where the space bar was!"