Pierre, a meek Parisian sculptor never created anything larger than a man's fist, so the art world was surprised when he unveiled an entire elephant in marble.
"But Pierre," said one of his many fans, "how could you sculpt such a perfect likeness without a model?"
"There was nothing to it," explained Pierre. "I simply chipped off everything that didn't look like an elephant."
A friend had a waitressing position open at his diner and asked job seekers to fill out an application.
Under “Salary Expected”, a woman wrote, “Friday”.
An alcoholic wakes up in jail. He asks the first police officer he sees, "Why am I here?"
"For drinking," replies the officer.
"Great," says the man, "when do we start?"
Having looked the other way for weeks, the boss finally called Smith into his office for a sit-down.
“You know, Smith,” he said, “I’ve noticed that every time you have to take your dear old aunt to her doctor’s appointments, there’s a home game over at the stadium.”
“Wow, sir. I guess you’re right,” Smith answered. “I didn’t realize it. You don’t think she’s faking it, do you?”