A local laboratory employed a licensed boat captain to man its research vessel. Reportedly, the captain couldn't swim. A newcomer, learning of this, approached him about it.
"Is it true?" the newcomer asked incredulously. "You, a boat captain, can't swim?"
"No I can't," the captain replied. "Can pilots fly?"
I went to the home improvement store to buy some paint. I saw the Behr brand. It had a picture of a bear on the label. I’m not sure what “B-e-h-r" is supposed to spell but it isn’t bear.
I wasn’t going to buy a brand that doesn’t know there’s a difference in spellings.
I went with Sherwin Williams because it was clear with their brand name it would be a sher-win for me!
How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
What's the difference between a duck and George Washington?
One has a bill on their face and the other has their face on a bill.