Latest Jokes

There’s literally no way...

To know how many chameleons are in your house.

One of my first assignments as a trainee in an auto-body shop was a car needing a new fender and some door repairs.

I spent hours doing a perfect job, but when the owner came to pick it up, he wasn't pleased.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Pointing to the side of the car, he complained about the paint not matching, uneven gaps between panels, and a host of other problems. He demanded an explanation.

"The repairs were to the other side," I noted.

A defector from another country moves in to an apartment in Chicago, and his new neighbor asks what his apartment back home was like.

“Oh, it was perfect,” the defector says. “I could not complain.”

“What about your job?”

“Oh, my job was perfect. I could not complain.”

“And the food?”

“Oh, the food was perfect. I could not complain.”

“So if everything was perfect in North Korea, why did you move?”

The man says, “Here I can complain.”