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Favorite this joke A defector from another country moves in to an apartment in Chicago, and his new neighbor asks what his apartment back home was like.
“Oh, it was perfect,” the defector says. “I could not complain.”
“What about your job?”
“Oh, my job was perfect. I could not complain.”
“And the food?”
“Oh, the food was perfect. I could not complain.”
“So if everything was perfect in North Korea, why did you move?”
The man says, “Here I can complain.”
Two men are hiking through the woods when one of them cries out, “Snake! Run!”
His companion laughs at him. “Oh, relax. It’s only a baby,” he says. “Don’t you hear the rattle?”
It's the 10th anniversary of Herman Mendelbaum's death and his widow decides to make a pilgrimage to the cemetery to recite a prayer over his grave and place a small stone to show that he is remembered.
She arrives at the cemetery, but it being a while since she had been there, she is confused and cannot find poor Herman's grave site. Finally, she comes across a grounds-keeper who escorts her to a small chapel on the cemetery grounds where the records are kept.
The grounds-keeper, after pouring over large maps and lists, finally turns to the widow and says, "I can find no record of a Herman Mendelbaum buried here. The closest I can find is a Sadie Mendelbaum."
"That's him!" she exclaims. "He always put everything in my name..."
I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400. I said, "I'd like large bills, please."
She looked at me, confused, and said, "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
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