I used to run a dating agency for chickens...
But I was struggling to make hens meet!
A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking. As the night goes on, they get drunk, and the giraffe finally passes out. The man decides to go home.
As he's leaving, the man is approached by the barkeeper who says, "Hey, you're not gonna leave that lying here, are ya?"
"Hmph," says the man. "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"
Did you hear about the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
His bark was much worse than his bite.
What did the scientist say when he found two helium atoms?