A well-dressed man approached a woman at a health food store and in a clipped British accent asked her exactly what she did with the tofu in her basket.
She said she normally puts it in the refrigerator, looks at it for several weeks and then throws it away.
The man replied, "That's exactly what my wife does with it. I was hoping you had a better recipe."
She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift.
"Aha," she thought, "I have that monogrammed silver tray from my wedding that I never use. I'll just take it to a silversmith and have him remove my monogram and put hers on it. Voila, one cheap wedding present."
She took it to the silversmith and asked him to remove her monogram and put the new one on. The silversmith examined the tray carefully, shook his head and said, "Lady, this can only be done so many times!"