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Favorite this joke Two elderly gentlemen in their mid-80s meet in the lobby of their apartment building. Both being hard of hearing, one asked the other in a louder voice, "Are you going to the market?"
The other one replies, "No, no. I am going to the market."
The first gentleman says, "Oh, I thought you were going to the market."
A man goes on a business trip to Liverpool during the course of which he has to make a long journey by taxi. During the journey, the driver decides to break the monotony and says to the man, “Do you like riddles?”
“Oh yes,” says the man, “I think so.”
“OK,” says the taxi driver. “Try this one: ‘Brothers and sisters have I none, but this man’s father is my father’s son.’ Who is it?”
The man tries to work out the puzzle but in the end says, “No. It’s no good. I can’t do it. Who is it?”
“It’s me!” says the taxi driver. “Think about it!”
“Oh yes!” says the man. “Very good!”
The rest of the journey passed in silence. A few days later the man is back home again where he decides to try the riddle out on a friend.
“Do you like riddles?” he asks his friend.
“Oh yes!” says the friend.
“Right!” says the man. “Try this one: ‘Brothers and sisters have I none, but this man’s father is my father’s son.’ Who is it?”
The friend thinks and thinks and in the end says: “No. it’s no good. I can’t get it.”
“Ha! It’s easy!” says the man. “It’s a taxi driver from Liverpool!”
One day at a trial, an eminent psychologist was called to testify. A severe, no-nonsense professional, she sat down in the witness chair, unaware that its rear legs were set precariously on the back of the raised platform.
"Will you state your name?" asked the district attorney. Tilting back in her chair she opened her mouth to answer, but instead catapulted head-over-heels backward and landed in a stack of exhibits and recording equipment.
Everyone watched in stunned silence as she extricated herself, rearranged her disheveled dress and hair and was reseated on the witness stand. The glare she directed at onlookers dared anyone to so much as smirk.
"Well, doctor," continued the district attorney without changing expression, "we could start with an easier question."
Three worms poke out of the ground.
Talking about the third worm, the first worm says to the second, ”Who’s that?”
The second worm says, ”You could say that’s my better half.”
The first worm says, ”You're married?”
The second worm says, ”No, it’s my butt.”
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