Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke Yellowstone tourist: "Look at all those big rocks! Wherever did they come from?"
Yellowstone guide: "The glaciers brought them down."
Tourist (cluelessly): "But where are the glaciers?"
Guide (wearily): "The glaciers ... have gone back for more rocks."
A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona."
"There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?"
The young man hesitated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man."
The farmers almanac has predicted a much colder winter than normal.
I have been observing squirrels and they are collecting more nuts than normal.
Which makes me wonder where my 3 cousins have disappeared to???
A woman walked up to an elderly man rocking in a chair on his porch.
“I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long, happy life?”
“I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a month, eat fatty foods and never exercise.”
“That’s amazing,” the woman said. “How old are you?”
“Thirty-six."
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