Overheard at the race track...
Bettor: “I’m betting on a horse that is 20 to 1 and I can’t lose.
Friend: “What do you mean 'you can’t lose’?”
Bettor: “I can’t lose, the horse is starting at 20 to 1 and the race doesn’t start till 1.”
I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law?
He was given two consecutive sentences!
Seven months pregnant, my hand on my aching back, I stood in line at the post office for what seemed an eternity.
"Honey," said a woman behind me, "I had back pain during my pregnancy. I was bedridden for four months because my baby was sitting on a nerve."
Then the man in front of me piped up....
"You'd better get used to it now. Once those kids get on your nerves, they can stay there till they're 18."