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Favorite this joke A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. After a bit, he pulls the ripcord.
Nothing happens.
He tries again. Still nothing.
He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord. Nothing happens.
He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail. Suddenly, he looks down and he can't believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going up!
Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver -- by this time scared out of his wits--yells, "Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?"
The other guy yells back, "No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"
A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, I've got news for you, "You're going straight to hell!"
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Oh man, I'm on the wrong bus!"
I’ve started growing herbs in my garden.
To help identify them I’m growing them in alphabetical order.
My neighbour asked me, “How do you find the time?”
I said, “Easy, it’s right here next to the sage.”
Yo momma's glasses are so thick...
When she looks at a map she sees people waving.
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