Latest Jokes

$50.00 won 12 votes

Which is heavier: a litre of water or a litre of butane?

The water.

No matter how much you have, butane will always be a lighter fluid.

12 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "Gegg Smith" |
$10.00 won 3 votes

A deaf old lady went to the doctor to find out whether there was any risk of her getting pregnant again.

He told her, “Mrs. Marx, you’re seventy-five. Whilst one can never rule out an act of God, if you were to have a baby it would be a miracle.”

When she got home, her husband asked her what the doctor had said.

“I didn’t quite catch it all,” she admitted, “but it sounded a bit fishy; something about an act of cod, and if I had a baby it would be a mackerel.”

3 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
1 votes

A man was complaining to his friend: “I’m sick of the police telling me how to drive when they themselves are worse drivers.”

“How do you mean?” asked the friend.

“Well, just look at how many signs you see by the side of the road saying, ‘Police Accident’.”

1 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
1 votes

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office and the staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the skeleton in my passenger seat and belted it in so it wouldn't fall over... not even thinking about the drive across town.

At a stoplight, I could not help but notice a ton of people staring at my car. I rolled down the window and shouted, "I am taking him to the Doctor's office!"

A man standing on the corner shouted, "I hate to tell you Ma'am, but I think it's too late!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Dansei59" |