Latest Jokes

A man is walking through the forest when he discovers a gnome. “If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.

He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms. Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”

“Why?” asked the man, smiling.

“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”

Joe: "I still remember what my grandpa said when he kicked the bucket."

Moe: "What did he say?"

Joe: "He said, 'How far do you think I can kick this bucket?'"

Harry: "I've just discovered oil."

Harriet: "Oh, how wonderful, now we can afford a new car! Now, where did you find it?"

Harry: "Leaking from our old car."

I just phoned the Police, because someone broke into my home and released thousands of house flies in it...

They're sending out the swat team!