Latest Jokes

$10.00 won 1 votes

Police officer: Sir, I pulled you over because I have been following you for a while and you went through a stop sign without stopping, went through a red light AND you didn’t yield for the pedestrians on a crosswalk. So let me ask you, did you see the red light?

Driver: Yes I did.

Police Officer: Did you see the stop sign?

Driver: Yes I did.

Police officer: Did you see the pedestrians?

Driver: Yes I did.

Police officer: SO WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP???

Driver: Because… I didn’t see YOU.

1 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Raj Padmanathan " |
$8.00 won 2 votes

Upon returning rather late from an annual physical my wife was wondering how it went. I replied, ”Very routine. He asked if I am continuing to exercise regularly. I replied, ‘yes.’ And am I watching my diet and eating healthy foods to which I replied, ‘of course.’ And are you limiting your alcohol consumption to 1-2 drinks per week I responded ‘absolutely.‘"

My wife then asked, “Then why are you so late?”

“I had to stop at church and go to confession.”

2 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Jquattro" |
$7.00 won 1 votes

I used my best shower singing voice and did an audition try out to become a member of the local Christmas choir.

After the audition, I asked the director how I did. He said, "I will have you sing tenor."

"You mean right next to the baritones?" I asked.

"No," he said, "I mean you should sing ten or more feet away from the choir."

1 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
$50.00 won 5 votes

My wife just called me pretentious.

I was so surprised my monocle fell out.

5 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |