My teenage son asked me if I ever fell in love with a high school teacher.
"In fact, I did. She was gorgeous! I couldn't take my eyes off of her... I dreamt of a life together with her day and night."
"Wow! What happened with that, dad?" he excitedly asked.
"Your mom moved you to another school."
A guy goes to a fish exhibit and sees the owner take out his wallet and place it on the nose of a carp in a fairly large pool.
The carp swims to the other end, transfers the wallet to another fish, and it swims back and gives the wallet back to the owner.
I was amazed as it was the first time I'd seen Carp-to-Carp Walleting!
Me: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
8 yr old nephew: "To get to the idiot's house."
Me: "Oh... uh... yeah, good one, haha."
8 yr old nephew: "Wanna hear another one? Knock knock..."
Me: "Who's there?"
8 yr old nephew: "The chicken."
The visiting Bible school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class, "Who broke down the walls of Jericho?"
Little Johnny replies, "I dunno, but it wasn't me!"
The supervisor, taken aback by Johnny's lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident.
The principal replies, "I know Little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them; if Little Johnny said that he did not do it, then I, as principal is satisfied that it is the truth."
Even more appalled, the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story.
After listening he replies: "I can't see why you are making such a big issue out of this; just get three quotes and fix the wall!"