How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Why is it always a bad idea to iron a four-leaf clover?
Because you should never press your luck.
A wife comes downstairs before a dinner date with her husband.
"Do I look fat in this dress?" the wife asks.
"Do I look dumb in this shirt?" the husband replies.
I can't find my 'Gone in 60 Seconds' DVD...
I could have sworn it was here a minute ago!