Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke Me: "I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes."
Friend: "How?"
Me: "I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven."
Two guys went to a local pancake house that served real Vermont maple syrup but charged extra for it.
So the guys went to a supermarket, bought their own Vermont maple syrup, and brought it to the pancake house.
They didn't want to get caught, so they were forced to pass the bottle between them... syrupticiously.
A gnome is in the garden busily destroying some bushes when a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"A gnome," comes the reply. "I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, I make annoying music at night to drive them crazy, and I love mischief. And what, may I ask, are you?"
The cat replies, "Um, I guess I'm a gnome."
Mom: "Little Johnny, why are you taking your ruler to bed with you?"
Little Johnny: "To see how long I sleep..."
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