Latest Jokes

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down..

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

"Please sir," says the waiter, "what did you order?"

The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise..."

"Ah! So sorry everyone," says the waiter, "I brought you Peeking Duck."

My friend felt she needed to go to the dentist since her front tooth was chipped.

I asked her if it bothered her having it chipped like that?

She replied, “I am only concerned when I smile.”

I said, "Well in that case, there really is no need to go.”

A nurseryman called a customer that had purchased and had decorated his Christmas tree for years, not knowing that he just had the worst of a financial deal.

Nurseryman: "Are you ready to order your Christmas tree and schedule delivery and decorating it for this year?"

Customer: Yes, I'm ready to schedule delivery but I am going to have my broker decorate it this year."

Nurseryman: "Why your broker?"

Customer: "Its the only thing he hasn't trimmed."