Latest Jokes

A man was putting up a knotty pine wall in the living room. His young son was curious.

“What are those holes for?” he asked.

“They’re knotholes,” replied the father.

“If they’re not holes,” the boy asked puzzled, “then what are they?”

Morris had been playing golf for years, and he had the finest equipment, but his technique never improved a bit.

As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods.

"Why don't you use an old ball?" his friend Sam asked.

"I've never had an old ball," Morris said.

The doorbell rang and there was a little kid dressed as Gloria Gaynor...

At first I was afraid... Then I was petrified!

Hal was home from college for the holidays. He said to his little sister, Sue, ”Would you like me to read you a narrative?”

”What is a narrative?” Sue asked.

”A narrative is a tale,” Hal told her.

That night when Sue went to bed, Hal asked, ”Should I extinguish the light, Sue?”

Sue asked, “What does extinguish mean?”

“Extinguish means to put out,” Hal explained.

The next day they were at dinner when their dog made a nuisance of himself.

”Hal,” Sue said, ”would you take the dog by the narrative and extinguish him?”