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Favorite this joke Little Johnny and his family seldom had guests, so he was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.
When the dinner was nearly over, Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father who passed it to a guest.
Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest.
This was too much for Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size."
A young man who wants to see the world signs on to a steamship to be trained as a helmsman. He masters the classroom instruction, then starts his practical training on the wheel of the vessel. In his first lesson, the mate gives him a heading, and the young fellow holds to it. Then the mate orders, "Come starboard."
Pleased at knowing immediately which way starboard is, the young man leaves the helm and walks over to his instructor.
The mate has an incredulous look on his face as the helm swings freely. Then, rather gently considering the circumstance, he asks politely, "Could you bring the ship with you?"
What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet?
A desserter.
Little Johnny: "Why does it rain, dad?"
Father: "To make the flowers grow and the grass and the trees."
Little Johnny: "So why does it rain on the sidewalk?"
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