The zoo keeper found a new employee standing uneasy next to the lion's cage.
Zoo keeper: "Didn't I tell you that when the lion is wagging his tail, he was friendly?"
Employee: "He was wagging his tail and roaring at the same time."
Zoo keeper: "So, what's that got to do with it?"
Employee: "Well, I don't know which end to trust."
Mr. Boggs was halted by the highway patrol who informed him that he was going seventy-five miles an hour in a twenty-five mile an hour zone.
"I wasn't going seventy-five!" protested Mr. Boggs. "I wasn't even going sixty, I wasn't even going fifty, I wasn't even going forty, I wasn't even going..."
"Hey look out," said the highway patrol person. "At this rate you will be backing into something soon enough..."
As an maintenance man in an upscale hotel, I was asked to repair or replace the television in a guest room. When I arrived, the couple was watching a picture that had static lines going through it and was very fuzzy.
I knew all our spare sets were in use, so I figured what the heck, I struck the side of the TV with the heel of my hand. The picture became clear returned to normal.
"Look, honey," said the wife to her husband. "He went to the same repair school as you."