Latest Jokes

A military pilot called for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked".

Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.

"Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down..

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

"Please sir," says the waiter, "what did you order?"

The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise..."

"Ah! So sorry everyone," says the waiter, "I brought you Peeking Duck."

My friend felt she needed to go to the dentist since her front tooth was chipped.

I asked her if it bothered her having it chipped like that?

She replied, “I am only concerned when I smile.”

I said, "Well in that case, there really is no need to go.”