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Favorite this joke The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job.
"Look Miss," said the foreman, "do you have any experience in picking lemons?"
"Well ... as a matter of fact, Yes!" she replied. "I've been married and divorced three times."
A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.
An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.
A realist sees a freight train.
The train conductor sees three idiots standing on the track.
It’s a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub.
It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
Luke: I remember the time I played against Yale in football. What a game it was."
Mark: "What position did you play?"
Luke: "In the first game I was left...."
Mark: "End?"
Luke: "Left out. In the second half I was back...."
Mark: "You were back in?"
Luke: "No, way back."
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