Wife #1: "Hey, you look sad, what's the trouble?"
Wife #2: "Domestic trouble."
Wife #1: "But you always bragged that your husband is a pearl!"
Wife #2: "He still is. It's the mother-of-pearl that makes all the trouble."
Which rock group has four guys who can't sing or play instruments?
Mount Rushmore
"Nice threads, man," commented Donald when his buddy showed up one day in a snappy new suit. "Where'd you pick 'em up?"
Richard beamed. "My wife got them for me. Pretty sharp, huh?"
"I'll say. What was the occasion?"
"Got me," admitted Richard with a cheerful shrug. "I came home from work early the other day and there they were, hanging over the chair in the bedroom."
What's the difference between 16.5 feet and former New York Yankees' star Alex Rodriguez?
No difference at all, they're both "A Rod"!