Latest Jokes

Ten-year-old Tommy greeted his sister's boy friend very enthusiastically, "That harmonica you gave me for my birthday is easily the best present I have ever had!"

"I'm glad you liked it," the boyfriend replies.

"Oh yeah! Mother gives me a quarter a day not to play it!"

In some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined. The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens. He declares that he's been saved by divine intervention, so he's let go.

The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn't release the blade, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime and he is set free too.

They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine. He looks up at the release mechanism and says, "Wait a minute, I see your problem..."

A careful shopper in the fish market asked as to the freshness of the fish she was considering.

"Fresh? Why this fish took its last breath just as you entered the market," replied the manager.

The shopper, who had done business here before indicated, "And what a breath it has."