Luke: I remember the time I played against Yale in football. What a game it was."
Mark: "What position did you play?"
Luke: "In the first game I was left...."
Mark: "End?"
Luke: "Left out. In the second half I was back...."
Mark: "You were back in?"
Luke: "No, way back."
One summer evening, a 3-year-old came in while his parents were setting the table for supper. Quite surprisingly, he asked if he could help. His mother said, "No, but I appreciate your asking."
The child responded, "Well, I appreciate your saying no."
Ten-year-old Tommy greeted his sister's boy friend very enthusiastically, "That harmonica you gave me for my birthday is easily the best present I have ever had!"
"I'm glad you liked it," the boyfriend replies.
"Oh yeah! Mother gives me a quarter a day not to play it!"
Sign in a gas station:
'Coke -- $0.49 or Two for a Dollar!'