Latest Jokes

Two pumpkins in the pumpkin patch were discussing what they wanted to be for Halloween.

One said he wanted to be a Jack-O Lantern, "... but I don't know if I can make the cut."

If you were in the Apple store when a robbery occurred...

Does that make you... an iWitness?!?!

So many items are no longer made in America...

I just bought a new tv and the box said “built in antenna”...

I don’t even know where that is!

An Orderly in a Paratrooper battalion must make a jump once a month. The Captain rushes in and says, "I know you have a lot of work so I have transportation for you to our airport, a plane waiting for you, a Jeep will be on the ground waiting to whisk you back quickly."

The Orderly goes out and there isn't any transportation and they have to call for it. When they get to the airport the plane is late getting there. He gets on the plane and has to wait for someone to bring his parachute. When he finally jumps he pulls his cord and the chute doesn't open, he pulls his emergency cord and that don,t work also.

He says to himself, "I bet the Jeep won't be there either!"