Latest Jokes

$6.00 won 10 votes

A careful shopper in the fish market asked as to the freshness of the fish she was considering.

"Fresh? Why this fish took its last breath just as you entered the market," replied the manager.

The shopper, who had done business here before indicated, "And what a breath it has."

10 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "Benjones" |
$8.00 won 13 votes

Teacher: "Why are you late this morning?"

Student: "Its my alarm clock. Everyone got up except me!"

Teacher: How did the alarm clock make you the only one not to get up?"

Student: "There are eight of us in the my family and the alarm clock was only set for seven."

13 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "Egbert" |
8 votes

Little Johnny's mother was asking him a question and he replied: "Mother, you took the words right out of my ears."

Mother: "No, that's not right. It's you took the words right out of my mouth."

Little Johnny: "But I heard it before."

8 votes

posted by "Egbert" |
4 votes

The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a serious bunch. They not only expected you to know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. The following was an exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing.

Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active."

Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate."

The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now."

Ground (with typical German impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop".

4 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |