Latest Jokes

"How is your Aunt Bobbie?" asked a family friend.

"She had her appendix taken out the other day," I informed her.

"Did they give her anything for it?"

"No," I answered, "it wasn't worth anything."

"Armstrong," the boss said, "I happen to know that the reason you didn't come to work yesterday was that you were out playing golf."

"That's a rotten lie!" Armstrong protested. "And I have the fish to prove it!"

1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 4.

4. You e-mail your colleague at the desk next to you to ask if they're ready to go to lunch.

5. You chat online regularly with a stranger from the U.S., but you haven't spoken to your next-door-neighbor yet this year.

6. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have an e-mail address.

7. Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.

8. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail rather than in person.

9. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.

10. When you make phone calls from home you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.

Pete: "What's that you have in your buttonhole?"

Donald: "That's a chrysanthemum."

Pete: "It looks like a rose to me!"

Donald: "Your wrong, its a chrysanthemum."

Pete: "Then spell it."

Donald: "K-r-i-s.....your right, it is a rose."