An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered, "Sure , why not."
So the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
"Did you present the delinquent account to the defendant?" inquired the lawyer of his client.
"I did, sir."
"And what did he say?"
"He told me to go to the hell."
"And what did you do then?"
"Well that's when I came to you."
Teacher: "What ancient ruler was it who played the fiddle while Rome was burning?"
Johnny: "Hector, ma'am."
Teacher: "No, not Hector. Hector was no ruler, he was a Trojan prince. Try again."
Johnny: "Then it was Duke!"
Teacher: "Duke? What do you mean Johnny?"
Johnny: "Well then, it must have been Nero... I knew it was someone with a dogs name."
During my physical fitness class, I had everyone lie on their backs with their legs up as if pedaling a bike. After several minutes, one man suddenly stopped.
"Why did you stop pedaling?" I shouted.
"I didn't stop," he said, wheezing, "I'm coasting."