Latest Jokes

3 votes

Two young children stood in front of a mummy case in the museum. On the bottom of the mummy case they noticed ”1286 B.C.”.

”What does that number mean?” asked the first one.

The second one thought a moment and said, ”That must be the license plate of the car that hit him.”

3 votes

posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
$7.00 won 10 votes

At the monthly meeting of the local group of struggling artists, two of them were discussing their respective prospects.

First artist: "I'm not doing too well. I painted a picture for a local lady but she didn't like it. She said it made her look just like a monkey."

Second artist: "I hope you were diplomatic about it?"

First artist: "Yes, I told her she should have thought about that before she had her picture painted."

10 votes

posted by "maryjones" |
7 votes

A guy goes to see the doctor for his aching shoulder problem. The doctor said, "Okay, it is a bit inflamed. What I want you to do is put a bag of frozen peas on it, on and off for a week."

"The peas will work?" the guy asked.

The doctor replies, "Yes, just give peas a chance."

7 votes

posted by "John S" |
8 votes

Two sailors were marooned on a tropical island. One insisted on building a raft and leaving immediately. The other wanted to wait and rest.

"Yea, but if these cannibals catch you, they'll eat you," said the first.

"I don't care. Let them kill me, let them throw me in the pot and cook me. They'll be sorry. "


"Because I'm not what I'm cooked up to be," retorted the second.

8 votes

posted by "barber7796" |