Latest Jokes

I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram...

I was like 0mg!

"Where did the car hit him?" the lawyer ask the medical expert.

"At the junction of the dorsal and cervical vertebrae," replied the expert.

At this point the burly foreman rose from his seat. "Boy oh boy, I've lived in these parts for over fifty years," he protested ponderously, "and I have never heard of that place!"

Me: "I think I have a crush on Beyoncé..."

Her: "Whatever floats your boat."

Me: "No, that’s buoyancy."

Romeo: "Somebody loves me."

Juliet: "Who loves you?"

Romeo: "Do you know that beautiful girl who moved into the corner house last week? I sang a serenade under her window last night, and she threw me a beautiful red, red rose."

Juliet: "In a moment of mad love?"

Romeo: "No, in a three pound pot."