Daughter: "Mom, can you lend me $100?"
Mother: "What? Do you think I have $50? Don't you know it's hard to earn $20? Even $10 I don't have. Luckily I keep $5 in my purse. How about I lend you $2?"
Daughter: "Give it to me quickly. It might come down to $1."
A police officer found a lost toddler hysterically calling her mother. The police tried to talk and console the toddler.
Police: "Don't worry child, I will help you go home. Where do you live?"
Toddler: "With my parents."
Police: "Where do your parents live?"
Toddler: "With me."
Police: "Where do you all live?"
Toddler: "In our house."
Police: "Where is your house?"
Toddler: "Next to our neighbor's house."
Police: "Where is your neighbor's house?"
Toddler: "Will you get me home if I tell you?"
Police: "Tell me."
Toddler: "Next to our house."
A heavy snowstorm closed the schools in one town.
When the children returned to school a few days later, one grade school teacher asked her students whether they had used the time away from school constructively.
"I sure did, teacher," one little girl replied. "I just prayed for more snow."