"What would be the first thing you'd do if you had hydrophobia?" one resident doctor ask another.
"I'd ask for a pencil and paper," replied the other doctor.
"To make your last will?"
"No, to make a list of the people I want to bite."
Husband to stepford wife: "There are times we must save money and make every nickel count!"
Wife: "That's the reason I bought three loaves of bread today."
Husband: "Three loaves of bread? I haven't seen anything in the news where there has been a raise in bread."
Wife: "I don't know anything about the news, but I saw a sign in the window that sure did say it."
Husband: "What did the sign say?"
Wife: "It said: Raisin bread tomorrow."