Latest Jokes

$10.00 won 2 votes

Billy: I asked my dog three questions and he got two of them right.

Trevor: What three questions?

Billy: I asked what covers a tree and he said bark. I asked him what the texture of bark is and he said ruff. I then asked him if he knew what the winning lottery numbers are next Saturday night?

Trevor: He missed the lottery number question right?

Billy: I don't know, I'll tell you on Sunday.

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

Mr. Jones: Doc, I can't sleep.

Doctor: You used to count sheep and told me it worked. Any idea why the sheep counting method quit working?

Mr. Jones: When I count the sheep now they're shivering and it's upsetting.

Doctor: When did this problem start?

Mr. Jones: Right after I bought a very warm wool blanket.

1 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

I definitely learned my lesson about speeding today and it will never happen again.

I didn't get pulled over or anything...

I just showed up to work 20 minutes early.

1 votes

posted by "aod318" |
1 votes

I bought an alarm clock yesterday but I took it back today and asked for a refund, I said to the assistant, "It's not working properly, I set the alarm for 7:30am but it went off at 4:30am."

"I'd like to give you a refund sir, but it's smashed into pieces. How do you explain the damage?" he asked.

I said, "I just told you, it's not working properly and it went off at 4:30am."

1 votes

posted by "aod318" |