SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply, and a set of shocks.
JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Nobody can find it.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. The virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
AIRLINE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
PBS VIRUS: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Proverbs as finished by a fourth grade class:
There is nothing new... under a rock.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with... a private jet.
If you can't stand the heat... try Antarctica.
Better late than... absent.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and... then blow your nose.
A bird in the hand is... better than a woodpecker on your head.
Early to bed, early to rise... and you will get the best cereal.
Don't burn your bridges... or you'll fall in the lake.
Haste makes... sweat.
A penny saved... is not a lot.
A miss is as good as... a mister.
A saleswoman is speaking to her psychiatrist. "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."
"Don't you have a phone in your car?"
"That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car."
"Uh... how's that working?"
"Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."
"And why do you think that is?"
"I figure its because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."