Latest Jokes

$6.00 won 5 votes

I love bacon.

Sometimes I eat it twice a day.

It helps take my mind off the terrible chest pains I keep getting.

5 votes

posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
4 votes

A tourist stopped at a country gas station. While his car was being serviced, he noticed an old-timer basking in the sun with a piece of rope in his hand. The tourist walked up to the old-timer and asked, “What do you have there?”

“That’s a weather gauge, sonny,” the old-timer replied.

“How can you possibly tell the weather with a piece of rope?”

“It’s simple,” said the old-timer. “When it swings back and forth, it’s windy, and when it gets wet, it’s raining.”

4 votes

posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
5 votes

Late for work already, I was annoyed to find a strange car in my reserved parking space again. After locating a spot far away, I stormed into my office determined, to have the car towed. As the morning wore on, however, my anger cooled, and I decided to give the driver another chance.

During lunchtime, I went outside and left this note on the driver's windshield:

"Please don't take my parking space. If you do, and your car disappears, don't say I never towed you!"

5 votes

posted by "merk" |
$50.00 won 10 votes

"Yes, once i came face to face with a lion, and to make matters worse, I was alone and weapon less."

"Goodness! What did you do?"

"What could I do? First I tried looking straight into his eyes, but he kept crawling up on me. Then I thought of plunging my arm down his throat, grabbing him by the tail and turning him inside out, but I decided it would be too dangerous. Yet he continued creeping up on me. I had to think fast...."

"How did you get away?"

"I just left him and passed on to the next cage."

10 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "barber7796" |