Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife... she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."
Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, "Better think it over... women like that are hard to find."
A boy was sitting on a bus and eating one piece of chocolate after the other. A man sat down next to him and said, “Eating so much chocolate isn’t good for you boy.”
The boy answered, “My grandfather died when he was 112 years old.”
The man asked, “Do you think he lived so long because he was eating lots of chocolate?”
The boy answered, “He lived so long because he minded his own business.”