Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke A jeweler was on his way to work when he saw a sign that said “Watch for children...”
He thought to himself, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.
I thought to myself... "Well this changes everything!"
My neighbor’s wife came running up to me in the driveway the other day just jumping for joy! I didn’t know why she was jumping for joy but I started jumping up and down along with her.
She said, “I have some really great news!”
I said, “Great. Tell me what you’re so happy about.”
She stopped jumping just long enough to tell me that she was pregnant. I was happy for her. I know they have been trying for a long time. I told her, “That’s great! I couldn’t be happier for you!”
Then she said “Oh, there’s more!”
I asked, “What do you mean ‘more’?”
She said, “Well, we’re not having just ONE baby. We’re going to have TWINS!”
Amazed that she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked how she knew this.
She said, “Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the Twin-Pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!”
Carl: I heard a new joke the other day. I wonder if I told it to you?
Lenny: Is it funny?
Carl: Yes.
Lenny: Then you didn’t.
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