Latest Jokes

7 votes

Little Johnny came home from his first day at school.

Little Johnny: I’m not going back tomorrow!

Mom: Why not, what happened?

Little Johnny: Well, I cant read and I can’t write, and they won’t let me talk—so what’s the use?

7 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
$9.00 won 7 votes

A jeweler was on his way to work when he saw a sign that said “Watch for children...”

He thought to himself, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

7 votes

posted by "S.Sovetts" |
$25.00 won 9 votes

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.

I thought to myself... "Well this changes everything!"

9 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "Gegg Smith" |
3 votes

My neighbor’s wife came running up to me in the driveway the other day just jumping for joy! I didn’t know why she was jumping for joy but I started jumping up and down along with her.

She said, “I have some really great news!”

I said, “Great. Tell me what you’re so happy about.”

She stopped jumping just long enough to tell me that she was pregnant. I was happy for her. I know they have been trying for a long time. I told her, “That’s great! I couldn’t be happier for you!”

Then she said “Oh, there’s more!”

I asked, “What do you mean ‘more’?”

She said, “Well, we’re not having just ONE baby. We’re going to have TWINS!”

Amazed that she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked how she knew this.

She said, “Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the Twin-Pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!”

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |