Latest Jokes

$7.00 won 4 votes

My daughter was working for the American Embassy in Australia when she was expecting her first child. I was so happy when she texted me with the news.

"I'm a grandfather!" I said to my coworkers.

"When was she born?" somebody queried.

Recalling the date she told me, I thought for a minute and said in a calm voice, "Tomorrow!"

4 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Retired Terp" |
$50.00 won 5 votes

A snake slithered into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink. “I’m sorry,” said the bartender, “but I can’t serve you.”

“Why not?” asked the snake.

“Because you can’t hold your drink.”

5 votes

Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "iqannnylirod" |
$12.00 won 8 votes

I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early, I'm going to be a father!"

"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off!"

When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk, "Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"I dunno, I'll tell you in 9 months."

8 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Adie Peter" |
$50.00 won 5 votes

A piece of gold walked into a Texas bar...

The bartender said, “Au, get out of here!”

5 votes

Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "iqannnylirod" |