Milkman (to new hand): "Did you put water in the milk this morning?"
New hand: "Yes sir."
Milkman: "Don't you know this is wicked?"
"But you told me to mix water with the milk?"
"Yes, but I told you to put the water in first and then pour the milk into it. Then, you see, we can tell the people we never put water in our milk."
A couple from the east decided to vacation out west and visited a dude ranch. During the stay the tenderfoot felt that he had observed the horse riders and would be able to ride one himself. He mounted the horse and a moment later painfully picked himself out of the dust in one corner of the corral.
"Man, oh man," he said. "She sure bucked something fierce!"
"Bucked," said a nearby cowpoke, "Rats, she just coughed."
Four golfers were approaching the clubhouse green when they saw two ladies approaching.
One golfer commented to another, "Here comes my wife with some old hag she's picked up somewhere."
"And here comes mine with another," retorted the other, icily.
When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?"
"We'll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other," I reassured him.
"Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?" he persisted.
"Well, then I guess we'll never see each other again," I quipped.
"Okay," he said. "I'm riding with mom.