Bob sent Alice the following email: "Dear Alice, I must be getting so forgetful. I proposed to you last night , but have forgotten whether you said yes or no."
Alice replied: "Dear Bob. It is so good to hear from you. I know I said no to someone last night, but I had forgotten just who it was."
The new chairman, giving his acceptance speech at the annual meeting of a local society club indicated his concern...
"In most associations half the members do most of the work while the other half does nothing. Beginning today this will change. From this day forward this will be reversed!"
Policeman: What are you looking for, Mister, did you lose something?
Man: Yes, I lost my watch.
Policeman: Where did you lose it?
Man: On Tenth Street.
Policeman: But this is Twelfth Street.
Man: I know. But when I dropped it, it was still running.
“Doc, Doc!” the man yelled. “I’ve got cucumbers growing out of my ears!”
“My goodness!” exclaimed the doctor. “How did that happen?”
“Sure beats me. I planted carrots.”