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Favorite this joke Sunday School Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, I want you to memorize today's motto, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive."
Little Johnny: "Yes mam, but I know it already. My father says he has always used that as his motto in his business."
Teacher: "Oh, how noble of him! And what is his business?"
Little Johnny: "He's a boxer."
The after-dinner speaker just didn't have a Stop button. He burbled on and on and on, oblivious to his increasingly restless audience. Finally one of the more drunken diners hurled an empty wine bottle at him. It missed, and hit the Chairman instead.
As the Chairman slid slowly to the floor clutching his head, he was heard to murmur, "Hit me again, I can still hear him."
Sarah dropped in on her sister Molly and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a half-empty cup of coffee, her three kids squabbling loudly in the other room.
"What's wrong Molly?" she asked.
Molly told her that she had morning sickness.
Surprised, Sarah said, "Hurray! I didn't even know you were pregnant!"
"I'm not," the harried middle-aged mother replied. "I'm just sick of mornings."
On the first day of class the chemistry professor was asking around the room the elements in the periodic table. "Jones, what does HNO3 signify?
Jones, searching for the answer replied, "Well, ah, I've got it right on the tip of my tongue, sir."
Professor: "Well, you better spit it out. It's nitric acid."
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