The same guy has robbed the same bank three times in the last 30 days.
The FBI, in charge of preventing a fourth robbery ask the nervous bank teller, "Have you noticed anything in particular about the robber?"
"Yes," the teller replied. "I notice that each time he comes into the bank he's much better dressed."
While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face.
As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, "Are you hurt?"
"No, I'm fine," I said.
"Oh, good," she continued, "Will you be vacating your parking space now?"
I've just turned down a job delivering for my local fruit and veg shop.
They offered to pay me in vegetables, but the celery was unacceptable.
Greg: Did you hear about the accident at the Army camp?
Mike: No, what happened?
Greg: A Jeep ran over a popcorn box and killed two kernels.