In days of old, when knights were bold, this particular knight was leaving the castle and called one of his squires. "Here is the key to my treasure chest. I will be gone for about a year and I want you to keep it safe until I return. Don't let anyone near my gold."
The knight sets out on the dusty road, armored from head to toe, and takes a look back at his castle. He sees the squire rushing across the drawbridge, yelling, "Stop! Thank goodness I was able to catch you. This is the wrong key."
A minister who was very fond of pure, hot horseradish always kept a bottle of it on his dining room table. Once, at dinner, he offered some to a guest, who took a big spoonful.
The guest let out a huge gasp. When he was finally able to speak, he choked out, "I've heard many ministers preach hellfire, but you are the first one I've met who passes out a sample of it."