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Favorite this joke Just seen a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
He said: “Working from home.”
My husband made me mad today so I poured some water in front of the washer.
He’s been in there for 2 hours trying to fix the washer.
A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin.
"Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover."
"Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."
The cable repairman was on my street and asked me what time it was.
I told him it is between 1:00 pm and 4:00 pm.
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